Option#2: Everything is the same until after the retrieval. Once retrieval has happened we would go home. They would continue to watch our embryos grow. Once the embryos reach viability all of them would be frozen. Then when we were ready- typically a month or two- we would return for the transfer of two viable embryos that survive the thawing process. There are two advantages to a frozen transfer. The first advantage is it would mean a shorter stay in St. Louis leading up to the egg retrieval day. This is because if we choose this option we would have ALL monitoring done in Tulsa until the day of retrieval. Then we would go back a different time for the transfer and stay just one night. So it would mean instead of possibly two weeks in St. Louis we would only be staying a few nights total. The second advantage and the reason we ultimately chose this route is because of something Dr. Ahlering called endometrial advancement. He said that he has seen an increase in success rates because of the frozen transfer method. He attributes this to the absence of endometrial advancement. This is basically a side effect of the stimulation medication given to make your ovaries respond appropriately prior to egg retrieval. What happens is because of the hormones the endometrium lining advances faster than normal. So as a result when a day five embryo is transferred the endometrium lining may already be on day 7 or 8 which may impede implantation. Dr. Ahlering has been monitoring this by biopsying all patients on the day of egg retrieval. He says he has seen this condition in about 70% of patients. He said some still get pregnant and some don't. So because of this risk and because of the easier travel we have chosen to do a frozen transfer. We feel like based on the information we have this will be our best option at this time. To address embryos frozen but not transferred: it is possible that we could have more than two viable embryos. If this happens the remainder will stay frozen. If the first transfer doesn't take then we will thaw two more to use for another transfer. If the first transfer does work (and we are praying it does) then we will have he remainder of the embryos to try in the future for more children. There is also the real possibility that only one or two embryos will make it to transfer. There is also the possibility that none will. Although this possibility exists-we are choosing not to dwell on it. We are very aware of the statistics and he chances for failure. Right now we both feel so hopeful and until proven otherwise we will remain so!
I want to touch a little bit on some of the thought process that brought us to where we are. For sure a lot of thought and prayer has brought us to our decision. First of all- if this has taught me anything it is- you can never ever know what decision you will make in a particular situation until you have been faced with it. Fertility like many things causes most people to have an opinion one way or another. To be perfectly honest even pretty far into this journey I was one of those people. I would think about IVF and say no way could I do that. I look back at those statements and feel shame- not because I have went back on what I said but because I was judging a situation I knew nothing about. Every couple must make the decision they feel is best. Literally not one other person can tell you what you should do. If I could talk to my old self I would say- YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! I truly believe the decision is up to the couple. Now don't get me wrong- I have asked people, read books, and searched for countless hours on the internet looking for the right answer. By the way it can't be found because there is not a right answer. There is only a right for you answer. For me the issue I took with IVF was an ethical one. I wasn't sure if this was something God really wanted us to do. There is A LOT of science involved. So I began to pray along time ago. I felt like I was leaning toward adoption while I knew my husband wasn't. I prayed honestly that God would change Tim's heart and open it to adoption. The more I prayed the craziest thing happened- He changed my heart instead. I felt more like God was leading me away from adoption and toward IVF. I have come to the point where I feel like 100% this is where God has led us. Now that is not to say that adoption is not a miracle and exactly what some people should do. I am also not saying that God is not going to lead us back to adoption someday. I am just saying right at this moment God has closed that door in my heart. I also will not say that IVF is right for every Christian couple. Again, this is something everyone must decide on their own. I will say this one thing- I believe that regardless of what happens scientifically in a dish outside my body- if I am lucky enough to see that living, breathing baby on the screen- it is nothing short of a miracle created by God. The scientist can do whatever they want but only God can give life.
We desire your prayers as we move forward. We have chosen not share any exact timelines at this point. We want to process all of this privately. As we go if we feel the time is right we will share what we can.
We are very excited and hopeful for the future and pray God will continue to guide us.
