So have you ever considered adoption?

For people struggling with fertility this question is often a two-edged sword. On one hand adoption is ordained by God. In the Bible He commands us to care for the widows and orphans. On the other hand, to a couple who yearns to be like everyone else and raise a child that is a perfect mix of their traits and appearance, this question can often bring pain. For years when people would ask me that question I would instantly feel guilt. Guilt because I know that adoption is something God calls us to do. Guilt because I am spending countless amounts of money, time, and prayers on trying to have a biological child when there are lots of children who don't have homes. Guilt because we have yet to make grandparents out of our parents who so desperately want to be. Guilt because I have heard stories of families who were complete through the miracle of adoption. I actually would have so much anxiety that as soon as the question was asked I would try to come up with something that would satisfy my social obligation to make this person who was suggesting adoption feel like I was in fact considering it. Truth is at this time in our journey adoption is not a consideration for us. I am not saying we have never discussed it. Of course we have discussed it and if the time comes that we feel God is telling us that is what we should do we will definitely be open to His leading. We have some precious friends who have opened their home to the miracle of adoption twice. Once domestically and are now in the process of adopting after fostering. This relationship has so made me appreciate that God does lead some to take the step toward adoption. I am currently reading a book called Hannah's Hope. If you have not read it you should! It is excellent and has already been such a blessing to me even though I haven't finished it yet. In the book she quotes another author about the subject of adoption. 

This is the passage : "God had the desire to create new life; and he wanted to create it in His own image. If He, being perfect and complete had this desire to create, how could it be selfish or wrong? And because He created us in His image, with many of His attributes, it should come as no surprise that we have His desire to create. If we yearn to take part in the miracle of creating new life " in our image" with our attributes, and want the intimacy of nurturing our child to maturity, that is only natural. This yearning is God-given and how we are created. It's no wonder we feel jarred and confused when we are unable to fulfill it."

I love this passage. I have read it and re-read it. It speaks to my heart. There should be no shame or guilt in my desire to have a biological child even if it is difficult. And to take it a step farther when I get asked that question now I feel no guilt. I feel like at this time, considering adoption when we feel so strongly that it is not what we are supposed to do right now, is giving up on something God has instilled in us. Now don't get me wrong I am not saying adoption is not something we are NEVER going to consider. But what I am saying is that just because we have far surpassed what society considers a "normal" amount of time to try for a biological child it does not mean that we are selfish for not considering adoption. I honestly believe that God is going to bless us with a biological child. But if He doesn't then we trust that He will tell us when it is time to think about other options. 

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