Some good news and a little perspective

I meant to write this post yesterday but just didn't do it. This week we got a little good news. One of the nurses for my new doctor (I will be calling him Dr. N from now on) left me a voicemail on Monday. She asked me to call her back but said it wasn't an emergency. Even though her tone did not hint at all that something was wrong I instantly broke out in a cold sweat. I knew they had sent off some blood work when I was there last week so my fear was that something had come back abnormal. I immediately called her back and was told she was in a room and that she would return my call. I then sat and waited for what felt like hours but was really only like 10-15 minutes. Did I mention how much I love this clinic!!! When she called me back she began to tell me that in the 3 vials of blood they drew, they ran a test called AMH. As I have quite an extensive knowledge of all things fertility I knew of this test but I didn't know exactly what it was for. She said it gives them a picture of my ovarian reserve. She said my number was "excellent"! It was at this point in the now two minute conversation I allowed myself to exhale. She went on to say that this test lets them know that we do not have to be in a hurry. Basically I am a ways from menopause.... Even though I just experienced menopause for six long months! This is good because if my level had been low the doctor might suggest we move right on to IVF as to not waste any of the ovarian reserve. The nurse said that they usually get concerned if the number is 1 or below. Mine was 4.05. I thanked her for being the bearer of good news. She said the doctor asked her to call because he wanted me to know. Again I love this place!!!! It has been my experience in the past with fertility stuff, doctors don't usually call unless the news is bad. I am so appreciative that they called me for good news. After I got off the phone, I of course googled all about AMH. Apparently there are 4-5 levels depending on which study you read. The good news is my number is in the best category either way. I think this is the first time I have gotten a good grade on a fertility "test"! 

After getting this news I have felt so hopeful this week. Yesterday I also gained a little perspective . My devotion that I read every morning was entitled "Great Expectations". The author of the devotion gives the scripture of Philippians 1:12-21 as a reference. The author talks about Paul being in captivity and how being in that situation did not alter his hope or happiness. I am going to quote directly from the devotional:

"I once asked a counselor what the major issues were that brought people to him. Without hesitation he said, 'The root of many problems is broken expectations; if not dealt with, they mature into anger and bitterness.' In our best moments it is easy to expect that we will find ourselves in a good place surrounded by good people who like and affirm us. But life has a way of breaking those expectations. What then? Stuck in jail and beset by fellow believers in Rome who didn't like him, Paul remained surprisingly upbeat. As he saw it, God had given him a new mission field...... Paul never expected to be in a great place or be well liked. His only expectation was that 'Christ will be magnified through him'(v. 20). He wasn't disappointed." 

I will tell you this spoke directly to me. I have been disappointed so many times by MY expectations. I am not saying we shouldn't be hopeful or believe that things are going to work out. But I think there is a difference. Expectations are the limits that we place on situations.... on God even. Imagine what I could see Him do through me if I would stop expecting Him to do what I think He should! And this definitely applies to our journey to have a family. 

Food for thought.